Friday, 9 August 2013

On growing up and becoming an adult

I'll never forget the sense of disgust that rushed through my body as soon as I realized I was growing up. I remember staring at the mirror and realizing my whole body was changing. I was no longer a child, I was now becoming slowly an adult. Changes were imminent. Huge changes.

Life would now be measured in numbers, not in moments. You'll start using that Algebra you never thought you'd ever use in your life - you can still eat that 300 kcal meal without gaining that extra pound. Your future will depend on a one-hour exam, on a 10-minute interview. Your future solely depends on those numbers. You'll start budgeting. Life is now measured according to how much money you've got. 1 hour of work = 1 bottle of wine. 3.5 hrs of work = x?

One night you're going to look at your parents and realize they're mortal. That will probably devastate you. You'll probably spend that night awake making sure they don't die that same night. You'll eventually get over it - not completely. You'll also realize your sibling stopped being your partner in crime, and that now you've got completely seperate lives. You'll struggle to keep a strong bond. You'll hopefully manage.

One night you'll realize that that alcohol you've considered as gross throughout your entire life is not that gross after all. Actually, mix it with some of your favourite soda and it's not bad at all. You'll drink more than you should. You'll get drunk and pretend it's not your first time. You'll throw up, and wake up with an insane hangover the following day - that will make you want to crawl back into your mother's womb. You'll eventually stop being such a lightweight and spend an entire fortune on alcohol because of this reason.

You're going to travel. There will be one time in particular in which you'll realize there's so much more to the world than your little home town. This will make you feel very claustrophobic. Hopefully not too much.

You're going to watch your friends from high school and college getting engaged and having a solid plan for the future. They'll probably change their facebook relationship status to 'engaged' whilst you're at home eating pizza alone on a Friday evening. You'll question your entire existence that night. You'll ask yourself whether you'll ever have a plan for the future when you're not even sure what you'd like to eat the following day. This thought will torment you for a long time. You'll eventually find something you're passionate about - don't settle for anything else before that happens.

You'll look back one day and realize you've grown up. You'll cry. You might even go up to your mother and tell her you don't want to grow up. She'll laugh at you and tell you that it eventually gets better. It does.

They'll tell you growing up is a trap. It's true. But once you're in it, might as well make the best out of it.